Learning how to receive is the key to a
happy and successful life. It is our lack of self-esteem and worthiness that
keeps us from life’s gifts and rewards. In this article you will learn how to
take down your own barriers to receiving and have the sort of life you have
always dreamed of.
There’s been a lot of public interest
recently about the Laws of Attraction,
‘The Secret‘ and such things as ‘Cosmic
Ordering’, but what does this actually mean? Can we really bring the things
into our life that we desire or dream about?
At the core of all these things is the Principle of Receiving ? the idea that
all good things are coming towards us if we could just receive them. If we can
become open to receiving, we can, in principle bring absolutely anything into
our lives and have any experience we desire ? clearly it could be a very
powerful ability to have! In the Psychology
of Vision model of love and relationships that I use in my counselling work,
we assume that a loving connection is always present in our relationships and
that our healing comes from learning to accept self-love, our love for other
people and their love for us. Receiving in relationships is then about removing
any barriers we have to receiving love. For those with a spiritual belief,
receiving is about being open to the divine love that is always present in our
lives.
At the outset, it can seem ludicrous to
think that we can have anything we desire in life ? surely other people and
events determine what we experience? While there is some practical truth in
this, there is also ample evidence that many of us put barriers in the way of
our receiving. We often turn away from positive opportunities or experiences
and at times even deliberately (though unconsciously) sabotage them. We can be
our own worst enemy. It is in understanding why we do this that we can open the
doors in our life to receiving all the rewards, pleasures and fulfilment that
we crave.
We must look at our self-esteem for the
controlling factor for our ability to receive. If we have low self-esteem we
will feel unworthy and therefore undeserving to receive life’s rewards, the
love of the people around us, or divine love. Here are some indicators that suggest
we might struggle to receive:
When somebody compliments us we feel awkward,
embarrassed or guilty.
We do not enjoy Christmas or Birthdays when we are
given gifts.
When we are given a compliment or a gift
immediately want to reciprocate without giving time to thank or appreciate the
giver.
We never quite reach the point of success or reward. If
we do have a success we often lose it quickly or don’t feel good about it.
We would rather give a present than receive it.
We hate people making a fuss over us or treating us
kindly.
We are often rushing around looking after everybody
else’s well-being or happiness.
Something important is never present in your life ?
there is always a feel of lack.
If you recognised any of these you are not
alone. An ability to receive fully is at the heart of most human problems. It
can usually be traced back to a level of guilt and feeling of failure around
our original families, where we subconsciously believe we have let our parents
and siblings down. This lowers our self-worth and esteem and makes us feel that
we do not deserve to have life’s rewards. Obviously the key is to find
self-forgiveness and to feel more worthy.
So how do we move forward and become better
receivers? The first thing we can do is to become aware of when we are NOT
receiving. Notice the occasions when you are pushing away compliments. If
somebody says something nice to you, look them in the eyes and say a heartfelt
thank you ? really receive their gift. You may not have appreciated it, but
when we fail to accept a gift whether physical or emotional, we effectively
attack the giver. Of course this is hugely destructive to a relationship. Are
you failing to accept your partner’s gifts in your relationship? You can become
more open to the love that people are trying to express to you and gradually
you will start receiving it. This will have an immediate and positive effect on
all other areas of your life.
Although, working to feel worthy to receive
is important there is an even quicker way to hone this skill. By giving truly
to the people in our lives we automatically open ourselves for receiving. You
only need to think about to the times you have fallen in love for an example of
this powerful principle. The more you gave to your partner the more they gave
in return and vice versa. Giving and receiving are intimately connected. You
will however need to make sure that the giving is true by which I mean that it
is giving without any expectation of
return ? the giving comes simply from the joy of the process. Our expectations
come from our needs, and if we try to get these met by giving untruly, we will
soon get hurt.
I should mention the more practical aspects
of receiving and what is sometimes called manifesting. We can have anything we
want in life if we want it 100%. We must remove all barriers to receiving for
this to happen. Please remember though that if there is any negativity in your
mind, this will also manifest in just the same way. The trick is to make sure
that what you want is part of your general desire to increase the amount of
love in your life ? not to simply distract you from a need or other problem or
give you instant gratification. Once you are sure this is the case, visualise
having the thing you want with all your heart and all your senses. Then let go
completely of the desire and trust that you will receive that thing. If you
have successfully removed the emotional barriers, your manifest will appear in
your life soon.
For those with a spiritual interest in
receiving, you can visualise that God, heaven or spirit, (or whatever your
metaphor for a divine power or presence is), showering love and gifts down to
you continually. If this is not happening, visualise a force field that you
have created that is causing the gifts to bounce off? Imagine yourself melting
or opening up the force field and allowing in all that is intended for you.
Feel worthy, and deserving of life’s riches and appreciate all that is good in
your life. In this way you can trust that you are blessed and that all that you
need for happiness, health , relationships and success will appear at the right
time ? you will move into the flow of life and become totally abundant.
About the author
Tags: ample evidence, cosmic ordering, doors, experiences, fulfilment, lack of self esteem, laws of attraction, love, outset, own worst enemy, pleasures, principle, public interest, relationships, rewards, sort of life, spiritual belief, truth, worthiness